The idea for a memoir came to me after my first writing workshop at the Fine Arts Work Center in Provincetown. On the last day, we were asked to write a piece about an object, to write “towards” the object. In seconds, the image of a red teacup came to me. I had purchased it on my way to Gampo Abbey and it was a constant source of inspiration during my month-long stay there.

Over the next several months, I wrote about the red teacup and my retreat at Gampo Abbey. Once it felt like a complete essay, I turned my attention to other essays I might write and string together to create a memoir. 

One topic of particular interest was how spiritual teachers are idealized by their students. It’s a natural part of the process of entrusting our soul to a teacher and teaching. We tend to glorify our teachers, our therapists too, believing they have it all figured out. I remember a client saying to me that she wished I had been her mother. Inwardly I cringed, knowing how flawed I was as a mother to my son. Or a student being surprised to hear that I had bad days too. For a client or student to become autonomous, they need to discover the fact that everything they need abides within, not without.

A teacher is a guide to realization, not its source. The difference between a teacher and a student is that the teacher has realized this truth and can guide students to look within for answers. We are all human beings, suffering and seeking freedom from suffering. Many paths lead to liberation and each one of us has the capacity to walk a path and live a life of freedom, regardless of our circumstances. My strong desire to convey that truth spurred me on to write a memoir that included my difficult childhood and the many missteps I made along the way to self-realization. 

When I resumed writing after the death of my dearest friend and first reader, the scope of the book expanded to include my month-long solitary retreat at Gampo Abbey and the process of integrating self-realizations into my everyday life. What’s known as being in the world but not of it.

In 2024, I was awarded an Emerging Writers Fellowship to Aspen Words. By the end of that year, I had a finished manuscript that took ten years to write and was accepted by SheWrites Press for publication in September 2026. 

My current passions are reading, walking the dog, playing piano, knitting, cooking, hanging out with birds, my husband and friends, and writing. Most days start with meditation, key to staying present and grounded. Fundamental to whatever activity I engage in, I am guided by gratitude and presence.